Extra ordinary

what would you like to say to the year going to end soon?
just like flipping back album, and stay quiet....
every picture reminds you every single feeling that you owned,
it might seem nothing at all to somebody else.
for me, i went through all a lot by my own.
anyone would really understand what i felt?
starting from the very beginning of the year, i believed it will be very very special moment for me.
i met someone i always avoid to talk to,
i thought there might be a chance to know someone having the same dreams and faith with me..
but i was drawn back by the reality,
and he say the world measures your coins not your heart.
i really thought i might get someone with dreams and passion.
"here is a form where you can buy your dreams"
and here, we end my friendship adventure.
 it was true that i had nothing in my pocket at that moment,
may be, thank God wanna reminds me he is not me.
i am fine, fine with everything happened around, and always gonna be.
a few months later? or sooner, got into a situation that everyone else don't even know how it happened, right now it still remains as a phobia for me.
do you ever feel hopeless? helpless, anxiety, nervous and dont knw what to do?
just like people describe in movie, it happened to me.
scientific term we used is panic attack.
and the adults and physician said, rest is important and as friend does help in listening.
if you are free, find your friend and have a talk, hanging out.
friend? did i really have one?
quarrel, we did. in different way of thinking, we disagree with each other.
then we had a "cold war" for about a month.
and thank God again reminds me i got a warm and lovely heart.
maybe, this is how a 20++ adult should behave, be truthful to yourself.
passionate and love..haha.. i know i am..
the very first time, i confessed, with my real sincere heart to a guy..haha
i feel proud of myself in telling the true feeling ,
i dont want to be so coward and hiding true feeling, as i might lose someone so important to me.
he is my friend. i recognized him. it was kind of weird for him maybe, but he accepted surprisingly.
i think, that was the first time a pretty girl confess to him..wahaha
and then before that, i lost my faith and one of the most important true love in my heart.
departure of J from my Goddess group.
the moment was so unreal and keep waiting the latest official statement from SME.
they cried. the worst day in the year. the grayest darkest day.
they also did not sing well even did not sing J's part during the next day of official departure of J.
30.9.2014. never forget this date. carefully holding their tears but could not.
what do you feel if you loss a friend a closest soulmate maybe, who always accompanied you.
no matter what, still wishing hoping sincerely one day she can be back and reunion someday.
in our heart, they are ALWAYS ONE!!! 
to Jess, no matter where you go, what you are doing, i wish and hope you stay happy and take care yourself, as you are doing solo debut. always remember that we are always one, 9soshi + sone! fighting!
to conclude the year, well, i learnt a lot, i came through a lot, i felt a lot, i cried a lot....
it is a memorable year.. and however thank you :)